Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
