he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
