maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize