I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I smell stomach acid.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
