How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
