I must be too annoying 4 u.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
