You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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