it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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