as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
