So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
