She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
