Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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