hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
