And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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