I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
