i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize