what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
