Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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