it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Randomize
