Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
