Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
