We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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