Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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