we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
