OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
