he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
