Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
