I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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