Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize