Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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