He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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