Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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