Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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