is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
