We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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