that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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