singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
