Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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