Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
