After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
