doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
