Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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