I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
