She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Randomize
