go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
