You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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