She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
