I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
