I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
