Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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