hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
