also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
