a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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