what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
