My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
