So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You took a bar mat shot.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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