I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
