I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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