i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
