I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
