I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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