i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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