i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am spending my child support on dildos
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
