Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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