roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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