just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
