i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
